Monday, 28 April 2014

Troughs I have Fallen Into

My hero Chill did this: Chillmoose
So I’ve fallen into a trough. Everything, every little thing is irritating me. I’m trying to listen to some new music and it’s all fine, some of it very good, but I’m anxious to listen to more, to not forget connections and recent recommendations and I’d usually write them all down but I don’t want to do that today because if I’m writing anything I should be writing that bloody essay for Uni. Not a hope of that. Need to sleep as I went to bed too late again. Just couldn’t lift myself up to bed. Even knowing that I’d have to run Basti in to school again this morning. Would have stayed in bed much longer given half a chance. But then I’d have been late going swimming and Cheryl needed the car so that wouldn’t have worked either. And that’s the shape you find yourself in and you know that nothing, nothing will pick you up and through this. You have to let it overwhelm you, go through it and wait for it to eventually dislodge itself. And all the time you worry about comfort eating, I could really go for that. I tried to arrange a table tennis table for the children this morning and of course that’s not been possible. Basti’s bike needs fixing. And when is that going to be addressed? When I do something about it of course. That grates, big time. I have Facebook and twitter open, normally I only have one open at a time but now I’m getting anxious about keeping up with all the tweets. Shouldn’t I be trying to cut back on the number I’m following? Why I’ve selected some I do not know. Yes, I will prune. When though, I do not know. Trapped you see. At times like these I’d like to read but I have such a huge pile of books to wade through, too daunting to start as I’ll pick the wrong one. It's as if there are all these men pushing one side of my brain. And on the other side there's these men pushing back. In between all those men are these men...

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