I Saw You Coming

Mrs Hora and Jose recently decided that the store Dr China in Hounslow’s ‘Treaty Centre’ would potentially be the perfect treat for me, or perhaps that should be perfect treatment for my depression.

I believe in God, I go to church most weeks, I have my beliefs, loads of them: Ipswich are better than Norwich, Spearmint are the best band in the world, the best films come out of France, being a board-game collector doesn’t mean you have to play everything in your collection, ‘Some Girls Are Bigger Than Others’, all of those and more. As I have become educated about my illness, and have researched it more and more, I have realised how little is certain. Prescribed medication is a huge game of trial and error and I don’t think you will ever discover the optimum meds. For starters, what state of mind are you willing to accept? 

That non-depressives do not comprehend the illness is all too obvious - sorry for the sweeping generalisation. Had the situation been different I would definitely found it difficult to empathise sufficiently with sufferers. My expectations of others are therefore laid back. I have lost some friends, and gained some new ones. That would have happened anyway I guess.

It’s much more complex with the family though. They have to live with you, in a changed state, and almost six years on from my ‘episode’, I’m not convinced they believe I will remain unwell for the foreseeable future. My belief is that they expect me to wake up one morning and be fine again, whatever that might mean. It’s tough to dent their hopes.

But. Dr China. Seriously? 

Yes.

  Very. 

Bloody Hell!

In we go and Mrs Hora relates some facts about my illness. The two Chinese ladies ask all the usual questions and I answer them. They decide that fixing my depression is the first course of action. Then we can deal with my obesity. Like all good sales staff they mention the 20% discounts available and start with the most expensive treatments. Acupuncture. Mrs Hora’s father stopped smoking after acupuncture. He was much more malleable to different cures than I will ever be. My cynicism and sarcasm are raring to explode inside the shop. 

Apparently, I will need a course of twelve acupuncture sessions, twice or once weekly depending on which of the two ladies answer my wife’s question. The cost is huge in my opinion. Imagine the amount of food and alcohol that would buy. Imagine how many new CDs I could get, DVDs, etc. And that materialism becomes lodged inside my already tormented brain. Off it goes again..

For today I have a session of Acu-massage provided for me. I am laid on a typical doctor’s bed facing the wall. My feet and back are the areas that take the grinding, the poking, the bruising performance of my host. More questions come thick and fast, more thick the cynical me decides. 

‘Are your ankles swollen?’ I’ve just told her I weigh twenty-three stones, every single bit of me is swollen - barring that special little place, naturellement. Talking French reminds me that the closer to my shoulders she works the stronger the eau de garlic is. And despite me lying there as still as I can, with my eyes closed in resigned relaxed mode, she’s suddenly got her breasts in my face. I dare not open my eyes and the natural stirrings one might expect do not follow. Since taking the medication I am an asexual being; can you imagine?

        Never mind. Losing track of time, or being mind-numbed maybe, the session eventually ends. Returned to the shop front and the largest chairs I’ve sat in we complete a form while lady number two puts together a concoction of twelve different parcels of dust that I must consume twice daily ahead of next Thursday’s first acupuncture therapy. No details provided about the contents but at a further £39 - less the 20% discount - it’s going to taste supreme, I know it!

Obsession, Hobby or Collection?

Male. Hunter / Gatherer. In the Twentieth Century the role evolved more than a little and now, who knows? Collector is what I like to think. Some call me a hobbyist - terrible word - and others, ‘obsessive’, as if it’s the worst thing a person could be.

As you may have guessed I’m a board gamer. I like playing board games. I love the mental challenges, I love the little gaming components, and I love the social side of it too, it’s about having some fun with like-minded people. It seems it’s the latest in a long list of hobbies I have had although some people have called them my obsessions.

Perhaps it’s because I become completely engrossed in the topic, trying to find out as much as I can about anything to do with it. Maybe it’s because it takes over my allocated space within the Hora home. Or could it just be that I have a passionate nature which is lurching towards the psychological unbalance that has become my life?

From childhood I remember being completely infatuated by Subbuteo, those little plastic men. I had a reasonable collection, much larger than my friends come to think of it. And I had the football, rugby, cricket and 5 a-side versions. I’d play for hours on my own, creating leagues, cup completions, test matches. Solitary it was. There was a little bit of other gaming then too although, with no-one else interested unless it involved a standard pack of cards, it was more something for me to get out and look at in those days. Some things haven’t changed there much.

I was very keen on sport as a youngster too. Hard to believe looking at my stature now but I’d spend hours down the playing field chasing a football around. Loved it. Hence the Subbuteo I guess, and the devotion to Ipswich Town. My first live game was in the 1971/2 season, Ipswich v Derby and we won 3-1. After that I was smitten and hardly missed a home game until Sebastian was born in 2000. I still have a good lump of programmes from those heady days and will try and sell them on if we ever get promoted again..

During the summer my time was split between golf, dad had made me and sis’ learn very young, and cricket. For the amount of golf I have played I should be so much better than I am. However, it’s been one of those off and on relationships and more off since we moved to London all those years ago. Cricket began with test matches on the telly and then learning to score for the game ’Owzat! A dice variation which worked pretty well. I’d buy a nice score book, usually from the sports shop in Southwold I seem to remember, and fill it with match after match, all neatly filled in.

Around the age of 13/14 I discovered music in a huge way. All through a friend, David Hogg, who introduced me to the Incredible Shrinking Dickies and my interpretation from there of punk/alternative music. It was soon off to taping everything on Peel and spending any money I could get on 7”s. A new hobby was begun and this one’s managed to remain constant throughout. I used to dream about going to gigs and now I get to go to them. I used to dream about travelling to exotic European cities to see bands play, and now I get to do that too.  

Another constant has been reading. I love books and have always read. I wish I’d kept a record of all the books I’ve read, it would fascinating to me now. Ah well. There was something very special when I was allowed to raid next doors boxes of books collected for a fete to see if I wanted any of them. Bizarrely, I picked out Susan Hill’s ‘In The Springtime of the Year’ and Jean Genet’s ‘Miracle of the Rose’. Hill is by far my favourite author and I have two new books by her on order at present, can’t wait! Genet’s work was such a beautiful piece, so glad I got to read it. Other authors have come into my life and once enchanted by one I will read their entire output if at all possible. 

When I moved to London my love for film really took off. Cinema City in Norwich still shows the art films and foreign works I adore but to have to pass by the BFI every evening on my commute home was blissful. Cheryl and I were soon watching two or three films a week, and at home I was recording everything possible accumulating a hideous fire hazard of a collection of VHS cassettes. Again the passion for this knew no bounds and I was soon taking holiday to coincide with the London Film Festival and attending as many lectures as possible with film makers. 

For some reason around this time I also began collecting Swatch watches. They were so different in design, and affordable too. I joined the Swatch club and have several rarish versions. There’s a great second hand shop in Zurich we found for older models too. Getting them from the airport was also a good way to buy them cheaper back in the days when the tax made a difference.

When the children were born these forays into collecting turned to Playmobil and Scalextric. Not quite to the extent of previous hobbies I’ll admit but still overwhelming for the children! I was working from home when they were first born and with no travel time I rekindled first the Subbuteo collection and then the board gaming hobby too. Gradually I have sold the Subbuteo as needs must but am sticking it out with the board games. There’s a truly incredible number of games released every year and among them some brilliant designs. I hope this hobby/obsession remains with me now. It’s looking good so far with Wednesday evening sacrosanct and a little family gaming and an odd evening elsewhere too.

Geek Outing This Saturday, Huzzah!

Come along, learn what there is to learn about board games, buy a new one, treat yourself, we'll teach you the game, sell it to you and let you buy us a beer too, chance of a lifetime!